a slanty view on things

so it didn't take that long for my blog to stir the masses...

when i chose the name slantyeyedwonderboy i guess i thought that if one part of that name would be debated it would be the wonder boy part....i was wrong...

i've had two very interesting takes on the phrase "slantyeyed"...one of my friends asked me if i thought it might be offensive to the sensitive folk...the thing is that i actually am slantyeyed (or so i thought...more on that later) so i guess i feel i can get away with it...you know how certain races use certain words with each other and it's totally cool but then a white guy walks up to a group of not so white guys and tries to use the same word and well...he ends up slantyeyed too...from the swelling...so i guess i think it's ok for me to say slantyeyed - i have friends that call me chink (by the way, i am NOT chinese), ricepaddy daddy (by the way, i just made that one up) and kimchee breath (by the way, ah nevermind...)

i remember sitting in kabuki's in skaneateles with my pals emma and derik and another korean girl (who power walks in such a way it should be illegal) and emma decides to ask if we (me and the other chink) got made fun of when we were young...now, i don't have a lot of bad memories about it but it did happen...emma then procedes to do this face where she put her thumbs in her mouth and her index fingers under her eyes, squeezed them together and stuck her tongue out and wagged it like a dog's tail while making some crazy noise (you KNOW you're gonna try that!!!)...we just about fell out of our chairs laughing cause it was nothing like the faces people make to mock asians...but she thought it was a perfect rendition...that emma is a priceless pal

anyways, i say all that to say that i guess i'm just not uptight about this sort of thing...and the more i thought about it the more i realized - i don't even HAVE any friends that are overly sensitive...and maybe that's not so coincidental....

so then i have aNOTHER friend who questions the slantyness of my eye! ok, i know i'm not 100% asian but i am 50% asian and that makes my eyes SLANTY! most ignorant americans couldn't tell a 50% korean from a 100% chinese or a 25% taiwanese from a 75% japanese...they see the slight slant and they automatically break into some asinine sing song about "chinese japanese" complete with the hand movements that have eluded emma...a lot of people actually think i'm hawaiian, someone once came up to me at a worship event and asked if i was spanish AND one guy once asked me what tribe i was from (native american)...my friend said that my eyes were 2% slanty....2%!?!?!?!....that would make jackie chan's eyes 379,628% slanty...just because you can't blindfold me with a rubberband doesn't mean that i'm not slantyeyed!!!

so i stand by my name slantyeyed despite the initial backlash...now whatever you do, do NOT question my wonderboy status!!!